Sitting in the Soup of my Life
My trip down memory lane
I recently returned from a camper van journey with my father—planned for 12 days but cut to 9. Despite my intentions to remain centered, I found myself unexpectedly triggered, caught in old patterns of my inner child who once feared speaking up. Anger became my reluctant vehicle to voice what needed saying. Irritation coursed through me—not just with circumstances, but with my own inability to embody the flexibility I aspired to. After the anger, I found myself stuck in thought loops of “shoulds”.
My father, meanwhile, remained remarkably gracious—forgiving, easy-going, taking genuine pleasure in the journey. Yet I was trapped in self-recrimination, especially as my coffee-deprived, sun-seeking self struggled with cold, rain, a broken coffee machine, and six days of continuous driving without privacy or reliable internet, and connection with the outside world (I definitely am an extravert). The absence of open campsites only deepened my destabilization.
I blamed myself. How curious, isn't it?
I found myself needing to simply sit with these feelings—to sit in the soup of my life—to witness my inner child's panic, even when current circumstances posed no real threat. Through tears, I softened into the realization that I still carry embodied fears of speaking up, of not being heard. And I coached myself to speak up, letting my inner child know that I am safe.
This brought me back to my guiding question for this year: "What am I devoted to?" In contemplating this, I'm reminded of Victor Frankl's wisdom: "Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom."
We never outgrow the opportunity to learn, especially about the things we thought we'd already mastered.
Upcoming Offerings
Are you ready to explore what your embodied fears are and what you're truly devoted to? Join us for:
May 31: Sound Meditation meets Psychotherapy (Mixed gender)
August 9-10: A Year of Devotion - Women's Immersive Retreat (Marin)
June 21-22: Devotion to Parts - Women's Immersive Retreat (Boulder)
September 6-7: Devotion to Others - Women's Immersive Retreat (Boulder)
October 11-12: Devotion to Self - Women's Immersive Retreat (Marin)
November 8-9: Devotion in Motion - Women's Immersive Retreat (Boulder)
Are you ready to explore what you're truly devoted to?
Learn more about Year of Devotion
Transformative Sound Meditations
Join me and Amy Reichlin on May 31 for an experiential sound meditation journey (mixed gender) or August 9-10 for our Devotion retreat in Marin (women only). Through healing vibrations of overtone instruments and guided meditation, we'll create a sacred container for deep inner exploration.
These offerings include:
Deep healing through resonant overtone frequencies
Evidence-based techniques for exploration and integration
Transformation of patterns into personal power
Connection with like-minded souls
Group integration and 1:1 preparation and integration sessions
Preparation and integration materials
Supplements
A lot of additions for the retreat
Limited spaces remain. Reserve your spot today to explore what calls to your deepest devotion.
Are you ready?
There are still a few spots open. Reserve your spot today!